


I Can't Hear a Word You Say

by JeffrinaMichelle



Category: Pitch Perfect (Movies)
Genre: F/F, Heavy Angst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-15
Updated: 2016-03-13
Packaged: 2018-05-14 01:43:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 13,729
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5724754
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JeffrinaMichelle/pseuds/JeffrinaMichelle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes Beca swore that she needed music in order to live. How do you learn to cope when you lose the ability to hear the world around you? Especially if sound is all that you know.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Hey awesome nerds! So I am feeling super angsty today because it has been a horrible week in Hollywood. First we lose legendary rock star David Bowie, followed by losing Alan Rickman. So I am not feeling very happy. That being said. This little ditty is something that I have been thinking about for a while. I don’t know if I will turn this into a multi-chapter….maybe if there is enough interest. So I hope that you guys enjoy this little angst party.

 

-I Can’t Hear a Word You Say-

Beca knew from a very young age that she was going to have a career in music when she grew up. The very instant that she could talk and form sentences, she picked up on song lyrics. Her mom told her that when she was a baby, she would giggle and dance like crazy whenever a song came on the radio. Eighteen year old Beca would argue that she has never giggled in her life, being the self-proclaimed badass that she is. Deep down though, Beca knew that her mom was telling the truth.

Music to Beca was as necessary as oxygen. She couldn’t imagine living without the melodic sounds rushing through her ears.

She still remembered her first Walkman. Walking through the halls of her elementary school with her crappy padded headphones glued to her head. If she walked too fast, whatever c.d. she was playing would skip, regardless of the bullshit lie that the Walkman advertised. 60 second skip protection my ass.

As soon as iPod’s made their first appearance, Beca knew that she had to have one. She tried to ask for one for her birthday, but her mom was barely making ends meet. Her dad was the main breadwinner in the household, so when he left, he took everything. Beca’s mom worked as a substitute teacher, taking on another job as a waitress at night. Being a freshman in high school made it impossible for her to find a job. So Beca decided that she would look for odd jobs around her neighborhood to save up money. She got up earlier than normal on school days and mowed lawns for her neighbors. Getting up earlier than seven a.m. on a school day was unheard of for Beca. Her dedication to being up before the sun showed how badly she needed this iPod. After two grueling months of mowing lawns, raking leaves and doing odd jobs for the creepy old lady next door, Beca finally had enough for her iPod.

Having an iPod was everything to Beca. That tiny white brick of electronical goodness was a lifeline for the brunette. She took the musical device everywhere that she went. It was a major pain in the ass to load it up with music from her mom’s ancient desktop computer, but every hour was worth it. Beca didn’t think that life could possibly get any better for her. Boy was she wrong.

That Christmas was the best holiday of Beca’s life. With the money struggles that they were having, she didn’t expect really anything for Christmas. The past couple of years were meager but not unappreciated gifts like clothes for the brunette. So when she came down on Christmas morning to a rectangular box, she assumed that she was going to get more clothes this year. It didn’t bother her, really it didn’t. Not growing up with much made Beca very appreciative of every little thing. Plus she bought herself an iPod, what more did she need?

When Beca opened up the rectangular box from “Santa Claus,” (her mom was still convinced that she was six years old) she was positive that she had died. There was no way that her mom had been able to afford a laptop for her. Beca looked up from her lap to meet her mother’s gaze, surprised that all she could make out was a blurry figure. It took a minute before Beca realized that the reason for the blurry figure was because she was crying. If asked now, Beca would still deny that she cried that day. She swore up and down that she merely got dust in her eye, because badasses don’t cry. Beca’s mother Laura moved quickly to sit in front of her daughter, wiping the brunette’s tear away with her thumbs.

 _“Merry Christmas baby.”_ Laura says with a watery smile, leaning in to press a kiss to the brunette’s forehead.

 _“But…wh…how?”_   Beca chokes out between sobs, unable to dam up the waterworks flowing through her tear ducts.

 _“I have been working extra shifts at the diner, plus I wanted to get you something nice.”_ Laura coos, running her fingers through the brunette’s slightly tangled locks.

 _“You didn’t have to mom…”_ Beca starts, but is immediately silenced when her mother press a finger against her lips.

_“I know Becs, but I wanted to.”_

_“All I got you was a new robe and pair of house shoes.”_

_“Those are things that I needed Beca. I know that things have been rough since your dad left, but just let me do this one thing for you. You have been my rock since he left us and I know that I haven’t been around as much as I should be.”_

_“You’ve been working. I understand mom.”_

_“I know that. Doesn’t mean that it’s right. You are only fourteen Becs, you need your mom around.”_

_“You are around. You always make sure that we have dinner together. When you aren’t at work on the weekends, you spend all of your free time with me.”_

_“I know honey. I just wish that I could be around more for you.”_

_“And I appreciate that mom. I know that you need to work.”_

_“Well I just want you to know that I appreciate every single thing that you do for me. I could afford this computer for you, so I bought it. Now go upstairs and do whatever the hell it is that you kids do on the internet while I make dinner.”_

_“Yes Ma’am.”_ Beca mock salutes, earning a playful smack to her shoulder. Laura presses another kiss to Beca’s forehead before standing up. Beca stands up abruptly, wrapping her small arms around her mother’s waist. Laura gasps in surprise before eagerly hugging her affectionately awkward daughter back. Breaking the hug after a few moments, Beca looks up at her mother with a huge smile on her face.

_“Thank you mom. I love you.”_

_“I love you too baby. Merry Christmas.”_

Beca wraps her mom up in another quick hug before grabbing the laptop box off of the floor. She doesn’t spare another glance back as she runs up the stairs to her room.

It was because of that wonderful Christmas gift that Beca discovered her hidden talent. She had the innate ability to break down chord progressions of songs to mash them up with other songs that wouldn’t normally go together. She spent countless hours on her laptop, making mash-ups that she was insanely proud of. When she wasn’t at school, Beca was in her room making as much music as she possibly could before her body would give out from exhaustion. Laura would frequently find Beca slumped over in her desk chair, headphones hanging haphazardly off of her ears.

As much time as Beca spent making mash-ups and half-assing her way through high school, she always made sure that weekends were set aside for spending time with her mother. That was the one thing that Beca wouldn’t change. She loved spending time with her mom.

Beca’s senior year of high school marked a huge change for the brunette. She still spent the majority of her time drowning out the world behind her headphones. The only problem was that now she did it on the weekends too. Laura was seeing a guy, so her weekends were usually reserved for date nights.

It wasn’t that Beca hated Todd. He was actually a really nice guy. He treated her mother well and he was always nice to her. It was the fact that this dude swept in and stole Beca’s best friend from her.

Beca isn’t sure that it is healthy to call your mom your best friend, but Laura really was. Spending all of her free time with her mom over the years made it so that Beca didn’t really socialize with people her age. So when faced with trying to make friends outside of her happy Mitchell twosome, she was a lost cause. More often than not, she would stumble over her words, or stutter when trying to initiate conversation with another human. After many failed attempts at expanding her social horizons, Beca just became extremely introverted. She spent all of her free time alone, polishing up her musical portfolio.

Along with the introverted behavior, came a drastic change in Beca’s appearance. Now she wasn’t by any means, a peppy brightly colored clothing type of girl. Her wardrobe consisted of darker shades of blues and purples, sometimes green. The one thing that Beca hadn’t messed with before was her make-up. She stuck to light amounts of make-up, mostly neutral tones. As her taste in clothes darkened significantly, so did her make-up choices. She went from keeping to nude tones, to caking on black eyeliner and dark grey eyeshadow.

After she darkened up her make-up and wardrobe choices, Beca began to rebel a little bit. Not in the sense of going out and getting drunk with her classmates. Rebelling in the sense that she got a multitude of needles punched through her ears, followed by the permanent ink that she put on her body.

By the middle of Beca’s last year of high school, she was what her classmates considered, a social outcast. She didn’t talk to anyone, choosing to spend her time alone on the quad, nose pressed into her laptop. As soon as she shook hands with her principal, taking her diploma in her other, she was going to get the hell out of Maine. Her next stop was the bright city of Los Angeles.

Of course Beca’s life couldn’t ever go as planned. Two weeks before she graduated, her father decided to reappear in her life. Warren Mitchell showed up on the doorstep of his old house, dressed in his freshly pressed suit.

Beca really tried to slam the door in his face, she felt like that was a warranted reaction to seeing the sperm donor after nine years. After he packed up and left the two Mitchell girls, he didn’t stop driving until he reached Atlanta, Georgia. He had a whole new life set up in Georgia, complete with a new wife and daughter. Not that Beca gave two shits about his new life, but she couldn’t help but feel the lingering sting of abandonment when he showed off pictures of his new Stepford family. It was around the third or hundredth story that Beca finally lost her patience.

 _“What in the hell are you doing here Warren?”_ Beca hisses out, arms crossed over her chest protectively.

 _“Rebecca! Don’t talk to your father like that.”_ Laura chastises her daughter, met only with a roll of navy blue eyes.

_“That man is not my father. He is the sperm donor that helped create me. You filled both parental roles quite successfully, mom.”_

Warren turns to his daughter, beckoning her over to the couch with hopeful eyes. Beca scoffs loudly, leaning her body against the hard wood of the front door, defiance flashing across her face.

_“Rebecca. I know that I fuc….screwed up….I”_

_“It’s Beca. Don’t call me Rebecca.”_

_“Right. Beca….I am so..”_

Beca cuts Warren off with a raise of her hand, stepping closer to the man.

 _“You’re what? Sorry?”_ Beca leans closer to her “father,” nostrils flaring in annoyance. _“It’s a little fucking late for an apology isn’t it? Nine years too fucking late Warren.” Beca pokes her finger against the man’s chest roughly. “I can’t believe that you have the audacity to come here after not contacting me for nine years. Not only do you come here, but you have the balls to tell me awesome stories of your fantastic new family? The Mitchell Clan 2.0. Because mom and I weren’t good enough for you? You ran away like a coward and made yourself a better family. So excuse me for not being very open to hearing whatever it is you came to say to me. So if you would be so kind as to spit it the fuck out and quit with the bullshit apologies. That way you can get the fuck out of my life and stay out this time.”_ Beca pulls her hand away from Warren’s chest, eyes blazing in anger.

Warren swallows loudly, shock set across his face at the verbal beat down from his daughter. He wrings his hands together, choosing his next words carefully.

_“Beca, what I came here today to talk to you about is Los Angeles. Your mother told me that you plan after you graduate is to move to California to become the next P. Diddy.”_

_“That’s not the plan dude.”_ Beca scoffs, lips turned down in a scowl

_“Well anyway, what I wanted to talk to you about is college. I know that you don’t plan on going, but I came out here to make a deal with you.”_

_“Oh yeah? What kind of deal would I possibly want to make with you?”_   Beca crosses her arms over chest, eyes fixed in a glare.

_“Well you need money to move across the country.”_

_“And?”_

_“Do you have any money saved?”_

_“I have a little bit.”_

_“Well let’s make a deal.”_

_“Spit it out dude.”_

_“I want you to come with me to Atlanta after you graduate. I teach at a university out there. So I want you to go to college for at least one year, just to see if you like it.”_

_“What’s in it for me?”_

_“If you don’t like it after one year, I will pay for you to move to Los Angeles. No questions asked. As long as you actually try.”_

Beca turns away from her father, turning to look at her mom.

_“Is this something that you want me to do?”_

_“It’s up to you Becs. I would like you to try. College is a lot of fun. I’m worried about you. You don’t socialize with people at all. College is a time for making friends and great memories. I think that you could benefit from this.”_

Beca regards her mother’s words thoughtfully. After a few tense moments of silence, she turns back to her father.

_“Fine. I’ll play your little game. Just know that I am not doing this for you. I don’t owe you a goddamn thing. I’m doing this for my mother.”_

Beca turns away with a huff, stomping her feet childishly up the stairs to her room.

That is how Beca finds herself in Atlanta, Georgia. Pulling her suitcases behind her with her official Barden University rape whistle between her teeth. One of Beca’s stipulations for coming out here was that she wanted to stay in a dorm room. No way in hell was she going to stay in the Stepford House.

After an extremely tense conversation with her father, followed by an awkward lie being rebuked by her extremely rude dorm mate, Beca finds herself wandering around campus. The entire campus seems to be on the quad. Different booths for school clubs are set up everywhere. Beca feigns interest while walking around, hoping that her father will get off of her back if she joins a club. Nothing really catches her eye, until she sees a tent labelled Barden DJ’s. Beca immediately walks over to the booth, taking a pamphlet in her hands. As Beca begins to read the pamphlet in her hands, a blonde girl steps up beside her.

 _“Awww yeah….DJ’s….Deaf Jews….picka picka..”_ The girl drawls in her thick Australian accent.

Beca looks over at the other girl with a smirk. The boy manning the booth walks over to them with a smile.

_“Shalom!”_

_“That’s not a real word but keep trying! You will get there!”_

Beca chuckles slightly.

_“Not a lot of Jewish people where you’re from?”_

_“Hmmm…No. I did do Fiddler on the Roof though in high school. It was like me and some Aboriginals. It was really Jewish. It was full-on Jew.”_

Amy turns her attention to the guy, who is holding out a sign-up sheet.

_“Hey guys. Alright, I’ll give you my number.”_

Across from the “DJ” booth are two girls standing behind a banner labeled Barden Bellas. The slightly taller blonde is wearing a pink dress while the redhead is wearing a checkered blue dress. The redhead nudges the blonde lightly.

_“What about her?”_

_“I dunno, she looks a little too alternative for us.”_

The redhead holds out a flyer as Beca walks past. The brunette turns her attention to the smiling redhead. She is immediately awestruck by the startling blue of the redhead’s eyes. While taking in the redhead’s eyes, she lets her gaze move across the other girl’s face. Beca is at loss for words when it comes to how gorgeous the redhead is.

_“Hi. Any interest in joining our A Capella group?”_

The first words that the fall from the redhead’s angelic lips sound like the perfect melody to Beca’s ears. A sharp intake of breath is all that Beca can muster, the musical tone of the redhead’s voice causing Beca’s synapses to fire off in multiple directions. Beca takes the flyer in her hands, glancing down at it for a second before turning her gaze back to the redheaded goddess in front of her. She swallows thickly, trying to stop her brain from short circuiting.

_“Oh right. So this is like, a thing now.”_

The redhead smiles brightly. _“Oh totes. We sing covers of songs but we do it without any instruments. It’s all from our mouths._

Beca frowns slightly, wondering if the redhead really deems her as dumb as a box of rocks. Or if she is just babbling due to nerves.

_“Yikes.”_

The redhead smiles brightly, ignoring the sarcasm in the brunette’s words.

_“There’s four groups on campus. The Bellas. That’s us. We’re the tits. The BU Harmonics. They sing A LOT of Madonna. The High Notes. They’re not particularly motivated. And then there’s….”_

The redhead’s voice trails off as she glances to her left. A group of guys are standing against a set of stairs, singing “Let it Whip.” Beca rolls her eyes at the seemingly cocky nature of what appears to be the group’s front man. Her attention snaps back at the angelic voice of the redhead.

_“So are you interested?”_

Beca smirks at the redhead, trying to come up with a nice way of turning her down. Her mouth doesn’t seem to get the memo.

_“Sorry it’s just, it’s pretty lame.”_

The bitchy looking blonde standing next to the girl that Beca has deemed “Angel-voice” steps forward, hands on her hips.

_“A-ca-scuse me? Synchronized lady dancing to a Mariah Carey chart topper is not lame."_

The redhead steps in front of her best friend, placing a hand on the blonde’s arm to calm her down.

_“We sing all over the world and compete in national championships.”_

_“On purpose?”_

_“We played the Cobb Energy Preforming Arts Centre, you bitch!”_

Beca eyebrows rise to her hairline in shock, most definitely not expecting the blonde girl to call her a bitch. “Angel-voice” steps completely in front of her best friend, effectively cutting off a possible confrontation. She smiles uncertainly at the brunette.

_“What Aubrey means to say is that we are a close-knit, talented group of ladies whose dream is to return to the finals at Lincoln Centre this year. Help us turn our dreams into a reality?”_

Beca smiles apologetically at “Angel-voice.”

_“Sorry. I don’t even sing, but it was really nice to meet you guys.”_

Beca continues on her way, desperate to head back to her dorm for a much needed nap.

 

Beca spends the next two weeks skipping her Intro to Philosophy class and stacking cds at the campus radio station. She forms a tentative friendship with a wavy haired brunette boy named Jesse. He attempts to hit on her for the first week of their internship, not picking up the subtle clues that Beca tries to give him. Finally, one night while they are closing up the station, Jesse asks her out to dinner after work.

_“So Becs, as much as I love stacking cds with you, and I love it. We should hang out after work. Maybe get a burger or something?”_

_“I can’t tonight dude. I have homework.”_

_“It’s Friday Beca. You are off this weekend. Work on it tomorrow.”_

_“I’m not hungry. I ate before work.”_

_“We’ve been here for nine hours. I’ve heard your stomach growl like ten times in the last hour.”_

_“It’s gas?”_

_“Why don’t you want to go out with me? I thought that we hit it off pretty well.”_

_“We did. You’re a cool dude. I’m just not interested. I’m sorry.”_

_“Was it something that I said?”_

_“No. You didn’t do anything. I’m just like, it’s….”_

_“What is it Becs? You can tell me. I can handle it.”_

_“It’s not you. I’m gay Jesse.”_

_“What?”_

_“Did I stutter? I’m gay.”_

_“Like how gay?”_

_“I didn’t know that there was a scale to measure how gay a person is.”_

_“Like on a scale of one to ten.”_

_“I’m like Ellen DeGeneres gay. If you don’t have a vagina in your pants, I’m not interested.”_

_“Oh..”_

_“Yeah.”_

_“Cool.”_

_“Okay.”_

_“I’m going to be your lesbro.”_

_“Yeah. So that’s not a thing.”_

_“Well it is now.”_

_“You’re so weird.”_

_“Well if you help me pick up a girl tonight, I’ll buy your dinner.”_

_“Deal. Don’t be mad at me if I order like three burgers tonight.”_

_“Three? Yeah right. You are way too small to eat so many burgers.”_

_“Dude. Obviously you’ve never seen me eat.”_

Beca did manage to eat three burgers at dinner. Jesse couldn’t figure out where the small brunette packed away all of those calories. She did manage to help him get a girl’s phone number, so he had to hold up his end of the bargain. The one thing the brunette boy learned that night was that he would never underestimate the eating power of his lesbro.

After Jesse insisted on walking Beca back to her dorm room, the brunette plopped her body in front of her mixing equipment. The next four hours found Beca completely engrossed in her mixing, drowning out everything around her. It was one a.m. when Beca glanced at the clock again. She had class at seven a.m. Beca quickly saved her work, shutting down her equipment. She grabbed her shower caddy from under her desk, making her way to the communal showers. Beca turned the shower on, allowing the water some time to warm up before stripping out of her towel. The brunette stepped underneath the warm spray, allowing the heat to loosen up her tightly coiled muscles. She allowed her mind to wander, beginning to hum the beginning chords to the mix she was just tweaking.

_“I’m bulletproof, nothing to lose. Fire away, fire away…..”_

_“You can sing!”_

Beca’s head snaps around, panicked blue eyes meeting the electric blue eyes that have been haunting her dreams.

_“Dude!!!”_

Beca crosses her arms over her chest, attempting to cover her goods with her loofah.

_“How high does your belt go?”_

_“My what?!?! Oh my god!?!?”_ Beca attempts to hide her nude body by cowering in the corner. She can’t for the life of her figure out why the redhead is so calm while completely nude.

 _“You have to audition for the Bellas.”_ Beca holds her shampoo bottle over her chest. Trying to hold on to some semblance of modesty.

 _“I can’t concentrate on anything you say until you cover your junk.”_ Beca tries. She really gives it a valiant effort. She can’t help the fact that she has eyes, for god’s sakes the redhead in front of her is beyond gorgeous. She allows her eyes to wander down the glorious curves of the redhead’s body. She takes in the soft curves of the redhead’s hips, the toned abs. She has to take a quick peek at the downstairs, but for only a nano second. She doesn’t want to seem like a complete sleezeball. Now as her eyes travel back up the redhead’s body, she can’t help but stop when her eyes land on the other girl’s chest. Her eyes seem to freeze as she takes in the gloriousness that is the redhead’s breasts. Beca’s creeper level ogling is broken when she hears the redhead clear her throat softly. Beca’s eyes shoot up to meet the amused gaze of the redhead.

  _“Just consider it. One time we sang backup for Prince. His butt is so tiny that I can hold it with like one hand.”_ The redhead leans closer to the brunette, accidently knocking the brunette’s shampoo bottle out of her hand, exposing her chest to the redhead. _“Oops!”_

_“Seriously I am nude.”_

_“You were singing Titanium right?”_

Beca eyes widen in surprise. _“You know David Guetta?”_

_“Have I been living under a rock? Yeah. That song is my jam. My lady-jam.”_

_“That’s nice.”_

_“It is. That song really builds.”_

_“Gross.”_ Really Beca was not grossed out at all. Quite the opposite actually. Her body’s response to the redhead’s revelation was obscene. Especially considering that she didn’t even know the other girl’s name. Not that it really mattered considering they were standing together, completely nude.

_“Can you sing it for me?”_

Beca eyes the redhead incredulously. _“Dude! No. Get out!”_

 _“Not for that reason.”_ The redhead shrugs. _“I’m not leaving here until you sing. So…”_

Beca rolls her eyes. She takes a deep breath, trying her best to avoid the redhead’s gaze.

_“I’m bulletproof, nothing to lose. Fire away, fire away.”_

Chloe smiles brightly.

 _“Ricochet, you take your aim. Fire away, fire away.”_ Both girls harmonize together perfectly.

_“You shoot me down, but I won’t fall. I am titanium. You shoot me down, but I won’t fall. I am titanium.”_

Both girls smile at each other, eyes subconsciously drifting down each other’s bodies. Beca breaks eye contact first, glancing towards the shower wall. The redhead smiles.

 _“Oh yeah. I’m pretty confident about.”_ The redhead gestures to her body. _“All this.”_

_“You should be.”_

The redhead turns away from Beca, grabbing the brunette’s towl from the rack. She hands the towel to Beca. Beca covers her body, standing awkwardly next to the redhead.

_“I still need to shower.”_

_“Yeah. See you at auditions!”_

The redhead turns away. Beca is almost positive that she adds an extra sway to her hips. She maybe only knew that because she may have been staring at the redhead’s backside. There was a strong possibility that she was.

As insane as it sounds, that was the day that Beca knew that the redhead was meant to be in her life. Everything about the other girl called to the brunette. Her voice was Beca’s siren song and the brunette was powerless against it.

If Beca could go back to this day, she would tell her freshman self to memorize every single sound that Chloe made. Every note that she sang, every word that she spoke. She would tell herself to commit to memory every single gasp, moan, and scream that she had ever coaxed out of her redheaded wife. If Beca knew what her life was going to be like ten years from this day, she would probably chicken out and avoid the redhead at all costs.

It wasn’t that Beca regretted falling in love with and marrying Chloe after they graduated college. No, those were the best decisions of her life. She didn’t regret starting a family just one year after they got married. Even though Beca was scared shitless when it came to having children. No, she didn’t regret her babies for one second.

The fact doesn’t change that if Beca had taken Lilly up on her offer of testing out the Asian girl’s time machine, she would go back to that day. Hell, she would probably go back to the day that she made her deal with the devil. She would tell Warren to shove it and she would move to Los Angeles. She would live her planned out bachelorette lifestyle and become a world renowned music producer.

Still, Beca doesn’t regret falling in love with her wife. She doesn’t regret swallowing her fears and having a family with the bubbly redhead. What she does regret is the fact the she didn’t pay enough attention to the small things in her life. The cries of her babies when they were small. The different laughs that she would coax out of the redhead on a daily basis. Chloe’s mom voice when she was angry. Chloe’s mom voice when she would read a bedtime story to the twins. The cute snores that the redhead made when she was sleeping, even though she would fight tooth and nail to deny it.

It seems selfish now that Beca thinks about it, because her life could be worse. She could’ve lived a different life, one without the immaculate happiness that her family has given her over the years. Hell, she could be dead…but she’s not.

So she should be happy, shouldn’t she? She should be thankful that for the most part, she is a healthy 28 year old woman. With a smoking hot 31 year old wife. Even though she will deny that she is a day over 22. She has two beautiful, healthy five year olds. Little monsters they are. To the outside world, Beca Mitchell has it all.

So, if an outsider would question Beca, as to why she would change her seemingly perfect life. Her response to them would be.

_“You wouldn’t be happy with your life, if god had taken away the one thing that you relied on. I wouldn’t be so angry if I had just been born like this. But it’s almost as if he teased me for twenty six years. How in the fuck am I supposed to be happy when the one thing that I needed more than air was ripped away from me for no reason!?!?!”_

She doesn’t mean to still be so upset about it. It’s been two years after all. But all Beca can think about is how silent her once buzzing world is. How she can’t hear the jingle of Chloe’s keys when she gets home from work. She can’t hear Elizabeth or Sam’s cherub like laughs. She can’t hear Chloe when she sings to them before bed. She can’t hear Chloe hum when she cleans the house, swaying her hips from side to side while she washes the dishes.

That’s probably the worst part of this whole fucked up situation. Not being able to hear her “Angel-voice” anymore. Beca fell in love with Chloe’s voice first. So Beca not being able to hear the one thing that she craves more than air itself is like being in hell.

 

Fin???----Unless you guys want more


	2. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some sexy times...and lots of angst!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hey Awesome Nerds!!! I can see that at least a few people want me to turn this into a multi-chapter fic. I had planned on it but I had to brainstorm on how to go about it. After bothering Aliciameade, she helped me figure out how I want to go about this fic. So let me tell y’all a couple of things before I dive into this new baby of mine. This will be heavy, heavy in the angst. I don’t have any like crazy plans to kill anybody off but seeing somebody that you care about lose their hearing is incredibly sad. It’s frustrating and just a lot of other shitty things. So having personal experience with this in my life, I can guarantee you that this will be a sad ride. I promise that it will be worth the heartbreak.  
> I have decided that since we have all probably seen PP1&2 countless times, I am not going to retell the plot of the movie. I had a lot of it in the prologue to kind of set up the story and I will probably still have little tid-bits that I will drop in but that is about it.  
> I am going to be writing this in current timeline with flashbacks. I will ensure that the flashbacks are in italics. If y’all have any questions, comments or if you just want to yell at me for making you sad, you can comment on here or you can hit me up on tumblr. As always, I hope that you guys enjoy!!  
> This is all flashback so I am only going to put the dialogue in italics for now.

 

  **\-----Chapter 1-----**

If anyone told Beca that she would join an all-female A Capella group her freshman year of college, she would probably punch them in the face.

She loved making music, she really did. Her place was behind a computer or a mixing board, not standing on a stage making different noises with her mouth.  Beca wanted to say that the only reason why she stuck around with the group was because of her “Angel Voice” and for the longest time, it was. Because God knows she wasn’t sticking around to get constantly harassed by the blonde dictator. Everything shifted at the end of Beca’s freshmen year. She grew up unwilling to let anyone in and by the end of the school year, she had ten best friends. It was a foreign feeling, having a group of people that she could rely on.

Chloe and Beca had grown extremely close throughout the year. Chloe had taken the younger girl under her wing. Teaching her the choreography during Bella’s practices. It took Beca years to get Chloe to admit that she was only giving her one-on-one help because the redhead wanted any excuse to touch the brunette. Not that Beca minded one bit, she really didn’t.

It kind of floored Beca that Chloe was so reluctant to admit that. Chloe wasn’t shy when it came to touching Beca. She was a naturally touchy feely person to begin with, but when it came to Beca, Chloe pretty much always kept some sort of contact with the brunette. Holding her hand when they walked around campus or looping a finger though one of the brunette’s belt loops.

Beca was there for Chloe when she was struggling with her nodes. The brunette made it a point to bring hot tea to the Bella’s co-captain for every practice. Beca was at the hospital with Chloe when she had her nodes removed, even though she left the Bella’s on bad terms. She spent the next two weeks in Chloe’s childhood home in Florida, writing notes back and forth with the redhead on a dry erase board.

When the two girls returned to Atlanta, Chloe all but forced the brunette to beg forgiveness of the blonde captain. After what could’ve been an embarrassing chair drag out of the auditorium, Aubrey relented. She not only allowed Beca to come back to the Bella’s, she loosened the reins on the set list. When Beca’s help, the Barden Bella’s took the ICCA championships at Lincoln Centre. It was the best way that Aubrey could think to end her and Chloe’s college careers.

 Needless to say, Aubrey was not happy when Chloe informed the blonde that she would not be graduating that year. Chloe told Aubrey that she was staying because she failed Russian Literature, but Aubrey knew the truth. Aubrey knew that Chloe was staying around because of the Hobbit.

The two girls had been in a non-official relationship since before the ICCA finals. They alrrady acted like a couple, spending all of their free time together.. In the rush of adrenaline from the win, Beca had pulled the redhead in for a heated kiss, which had been immediately and eagerly returned.

The two weeks following the unplanned make out session was slightly awkward for Chloe and Beca. Beca was already way out of her element when it came to feelings and dealing with people. So to have to deal with the possibility of a relationship was almost too much for the brunette to handle. So Beca did what she did best when it came to dealing with feelings, she didn’t. She locked herself into her dorm room and became her usual broody self. She missed her bubbly redhead that much was for sure. Beca found herself making mash-up after mash-up during her self-imposed isolation. She ignored phone calls, text messages, and all forms of social media for those two weeks. Leaving her room only for class, showers and meals.

Beca made it a point to not listen to her mixes very often. She knew that she was her own worst enemy and she would tear apart every single mix that she cranked out. She usually only listened to them when she was making them and on the rare occasion that Luke would let her in the booth.

Ever since her impromptu kiss with the redhead, Beca found her mixes to be more upbeat. She found that she was using a plethora of pop sons and love ballads. Definitely not her normal beats.

At the end of Beca’s self-imposed isolation, she had come to the realization that she loved Chloe. It seems silly to Beca that she is claiming to be in love with the redhead when they haven’t even gone out. Aside from the one impulsive kiss that they shared, Chloe has not shown any romantic feelings towards the brunette.

It’s nearing one in the morning when Beca hears the insistent knocking on her door. She was saving her newest mix before going to take a shower. Seeing as Kimmy Jin has already gone home for the summer means that she definitely isn’t going to get up and answer the door. Beca sighs audibly, peeling her fatigued body out of her desk chair. The current condition of the redhead when Beca pulls open the door is startling. Chloe is dressed in a very short pair of blue plaid pajama shorts and a matching top. She is panting, hair matted slightly against her forehead with sweat. The only thing that Beca can think is how beautiful the redhead looks in her slightly messy state. Chloe pushes her way past the brunette, immediately collapsing on the brunette’s unmade bed.

 _“Sup Chlo?”_ Beca questions, trying to calm her hammering heart.

Chloe sucks in a few deep breaths of air, turning her attention to the brunette that is standing above her.

_“You’ve been avoiding me.”_

_“Um…no?”_ The brunette licks her suddenly dry lips.

Chloe sits up on the bed, arms crossed over her chest.

_“It wasn’t a question Beca.”_

Beca winces at the sound of the redhead not using her nickname. Chloe only pulls out the Beca card when she is angry at the brunette.

_“No dude. I was, like, busy and stuff.”_

_“We’ve been done with classes for three days. All of the other Bella’s have gone home for the summer. I’m going home in two days.”_

_“Yeah I know. I saw the text message.”_

Chloe abruptly stands up, coming face to face with the brunette.

_“You haven’t answered any of my text messages in two weeks Rebecca Ann Mitchell!”_

Beca stumbles back slightly as Chloe presses a finger roughly against the other girl’s shoulder.

_“Whoa dude! Like can you chill?”_

_“CHILL!!! Are you serious right now?!?!”_

_“Yes?”_

_“Beca. What the hell!?!?! First you kiss me at the ICCA’s and then you disappear into your room for two weeks._

_“I was trying to figure some shit out.”_

_“Oh? And was it a requirement to lock me out of your life in order to figure this shit out?”_

_“Maybe?”_

Chloe laughs sourly. _“I can’t wait to hear this. What exactly was this shit that you had to figure out Beca?”_

Beca looks down at the feet, hands shoved into her jean pockets.

_“I um….I just figured out…that umiloveyou.”_

_“What was that?”_

_“Um, I said that ithinkthatiloveyou.”_

_“Beca. Breathe. I can’t understand what you are trying to say.”_

Beca clears her throat awkwardly. _“Fuck.”_

_“Wha….”_

Beca lurches forward, capturing Chloe’s lips with her own. Chloe immediately responds, sliding her tongue against the brunette’s lip, asking permission. Beca grants the redhead access, sliding her own tongue against the redheads. They continue to fight for dominance until air becomes a necessity. Beca reluctantly breaks the kiss first. She leans her forehead against the redhead’s, panting slightly to catch her breath.

_“I love you too Beca.”_

**~*~Chloe POV~*~**

Chloe always tried to keep a positive attitude in her life. Even when she was in the worst mood, she tried her hardest to hide it. She felt like being upset was a waste of time; life was too short to not enjoy it to the fullest.

It started on a Monday. Beca had been working pretty much non-stop at the record label for the last three weeks. Chloe would get up at the butt crack of dawn. She would fight tooth and nail to wake her two monsters up. She may have carried those two, but they were definitely Beca’s children. Lizzy and Sam were not fans of being up in the morning, and they made it very clear every single day. After spending forty-five minutes waking them up and getting them dressed, they would follow Chloe downstairs for breakfast.

After dropping the monsters off at their daycare, Chloe would head to work. Teaching English to seventh graders was everything that Chloe had ever wished for. She loved the kids in her classroom like they were her own.

At around twelve o’clock that afternoon, Chloe was in the teacher’s lounge eating leftovers from dinner the previous night. The chime of her cell phone breaking her out of her trance.

 **-Wifey <3: (12:10 p.m.)** **_Hey love. We are wrapping up the album right as we speak. You know what that means?_**

Chloe smiles widely as she reads the message.

**-Angel Voice: (12:10 p.m.) _Oh my God Becs!! Do you get to come home??_**

**-Wifey <3: (12:10 p.m.) _It’s a strong possibility._**

**-Angel Voice: (12:10 p.m.) _Oh thank God! The kids really miss you. :P_**

**-Wifey <3: (12:11 p.m.) _Shut up loser. Pick me up you get out of class? We can pick up the rugrats together._**

**-Angel Voice: (12:11 p.m.) _You got it boo, see you at 3:45._**

**-Wifey <3: (12:11 p.m.) _Nerd._**

The rest of the day passes by in a flash, Chloe not sure if she is even speaking English right now. She all but runs out of her classroom after the students are dismissed for the day. Chloe is sure that drove at least fifteen mph over the speed limit on the way to the studio.

Pulling into the parking lot, the redhead spies her wife already outside of the building. She is leaning against the wall by the entrance, typing furiously on her phone. Chloe puts the car in park before jumping out. She makes her way up to her wife, huge grin plastered on her face.

_“Becs?”_

Beca doesn’t glance up from her phone, doesn’t even acknowledge her wife’s presence three feet in front of her.

 _“Hey Beca?”_ Chloe’s eyebrows furrow at the lack of response. _“BECA!!!!”_

Beca finally lifts her attention from her phone. A huge grin spreads across the brunette’s face as she meets the gaze of her wife. Chloe closes the distance between them, pulling her wife in for a passionate kiss. The brunette sighs into the kiss, the familiar curves of her wife pressed up against her body. Chloe breaks the kiss first, air becoming a necessity.

_“Jesus Bec. I have missed the hell out of you.”_

_“You’re telling me Chlo. I am so glad to be done with this damn record. Let’s go, I want to see my babies.”_

Beca grabs her wife’s hand, dragging the redhead to the car.

 

Later that night while making dinner, Chloe hears Lizzy and Sam arguing in the living room. Her wife is sitting at the dining room table, face buried in her laptop. She has an earbud hanging out of her right ear.

 _“Becs?”_ Chloe calls to her wife, stirring macaroni noodles in a pot of boiling water. She turns towards her wife when she gets no response. _“Beca?”_

When Beca doesn’t glance up from her computer, Chloe walks over to the table. Beca looks up from her computer questioningly. She pops her earbud out of her ear.

_“What’s up babe?”_

_“Can you stop the monsters from fighting? Did you not hear me call you honey?”_

_“No sorry babe, I was spacing out I guess.”_

_“You only had one earbud in. How did you not hear me?”_

_“Like I said, I was spacing out. I’m really sorry. Let me go take care of the monsters.”_

Beca gets up from her seat, heading towards the living room. Chloe watches on as Beca claps her hands at the munchkins in the living room to get their attention. Chloe turns her attention to Beca’s laptop. She picks the earbuds up off of the table. The redhead moves the earbuds close to her ears, jumping back in pain when her ears register how loud the sound is coming out of the tiny headphones. Chloe drops the headphones back on the table, worry filling her body as she finishes making dinner for her family.

Later that night after Beca puts the kids to bed, the brunette stumbles slightly walking into the room as the fatigue hits her hard. Chloe is sitting up in bed typing on her laptop, glasses perched on her face. Beca makes her way over to the bed. The brunette takes the laptop out of her wife’s hands, snapping the lid closed. She sets the laptop on the bedside table, turning back towards her wife with a grin.

 _“What’s up babe?”_ Chloe asks her wife.

 _“Nothin’.”_ Beca climbs up on the bed, swinging her leg over Chloe’s thighs to straddle the redhead. She leans in to place a chaste kiss to her wife’s lips. _“You look really hot when you wear your glasses.”_

Chloe laughs, pecking the brunette’s lips again _. “You’re just saying that because you’re horny.”_

_“No way dude. It’s true. You look super-hot when you’re being nerdy. I can’t help it if my wife is really fucking hot.”_

_“I’ll be sure to tell her next time I see her.”_

Beca smacks Chloe’s shoulder playfully. _“You’re so weird.”_

_“Less talky, more sexy time.”_

Beca chuckles, reaching up to take Chloe’s glasses off. She sets them on the bedside table, leaning in to capture her wife’s lips. Chloe immediately deepens the kiss, stroking her wife’s tongue with her own. Beca breaks the kiss first, kissing her way down her wife’s jawline.

_“God I missed you Becs.”_

_“Mmmmhmmm.”_ Beca mumbles into her wife’s neck, nipping the soft skin of her pulse point. Chloe moans loudly, goosebumps rising on her skin as Beca suckles on her neck. Beca bites down on the tender flesh before releasing it with a pop. She presses a kiss against the fluttering pulse. Another loud moan escapes her wife’s lips.

_“Shhhh babe. You don’t want to wake the kids, do you?”_

_“No…”_ Chloe’s whine draws out into a moan as Beca licks and nips at her pulse.

 _“If you wake up the kids, we won’t get to have any fun….”_ Beca moves her mouth down Chloe’s neck, pressing molten hot kisses against the soft flesh. _“You wouldn’t want to have to stop doing this now would you?”_ Beca puts her lips against Chloe’s collarbones, sucking on the skin until its red and slightly raised. Beca moans against Chloe’s collarbone as her wife kneads the boxer clad skin of her bottom.

Chloe feels hot everywhere. She is burning up and ready to crawl out of her own skin. Every kiss or nibble that Beca presses on her flesh reignites her arousal. Tiny sparks of electricity sparking through every vein in her body. It becomes too much after so long. The redhead grips her wife’s round ass, kneading the flesh tightly. She can’t take it anymore when she feels Beca moan against her collarbone. As quickly as the redhead can manage, she grips her wife’s hips, flipping her onto her back on the mattress.

Hovering above her wife, Chloe takes the time to really look at Beca. She can see the bags under her eyes, brought on by multiple sleepless nights. Chloe leans down, pressing soft kisses against Beca’s cheeks. Beca tries to capture Chloe’s lips, the redhead sitting back up before she can.

_“When is the last time that you slept Bec?”_

_“It’s been a couple of days. Why?”_

_“That’s what I thought.”_ Chloe slides off of her wife’s lap, settling down in bed next to her. Beca groans disappointedly. Chloe laughs lightly, wrapping an arm around Beca’s waist to pull her wife into her arms. A sigh on contentment leaves the brunette’s lips as she rests her head on her wife’s chest. The sigh is almost immediately followed by a deep yawn.

_“Get some sleep Becs.”_

_“But I wanna rock your world babe.”_

Chloe laughs. _“We have plenty of time for that.”_

_“But I’m horny.”_

_“Baby, get some sleep. I’m staying home from work tomorrow. You’ll have me all day after we drop the kids off.”_

_“MMMMkay. I love you baby.”_

Chloe presses a kiss to the top of the brunette’s head. _“Love you too baby.”_

Beca’s breathing evens out moments later, the exhaustion of the past few weeks finally catching up to her. Sleep evades the redhead until the early hours of the morning, worry festering inside of her.

Chloe wakes up to cold sheets. The sun filtering in through the blinds telling the redhead that it is later in the morning than she expects. Her suspicions are confirmed when she glances at the clock on Beca’s nightstand. The glaring red LED’s read 8:30 a.m. Chloe shoots up from the bed in a panic, running out of the bedroom. It takes her less than a minute to realize that her house is empty. If her children were home right now, there is no way in hell that her house would be as silent as it is. The redhead breathes a sigh of relief, heading back towards the bedroom. Perched on Beca’s pillow is a note, the brunette’s messy scrawl letting Chloe know that she took the kids to daycare and that she would bring home breakfast.

Chloe lies back down on her side of the bed, intent on going back to sleep until Beca gets home. The chime of her cell phone startling her out of her daze.

**-Legs: (08:32 a.m.) _Hey Chloe, do you have plans this weekend?_**

**-Chloe: (08:32 a.m.) _Not really. I mean Beca just got done wrapping up the album that she was working on, so she is finally home. We haven’t made any plans yet tho. Do you need me for something?”_**

**-Legs: (08:32 a.m.) _Well, if you can. Bree finally has the weekend off. So we were going to try and get away for a few days. Just the two of us. So can you take Spence for the weekend?_**

**-Chloe: (08:33 a.m.) _Of course I will take Spencer. You know that he is my favorite godson._**

**-Legs: (08:33 a.m.) _God I love you! And BTW he is your only godson woman. I owe you!!_**

**-Chloe: (08:34 a.m.) _I was actually going to call your office today._**

**-Legs: (08:34 a.m.) _Everything okay?_**

**-Chloe: (08:34 a.m.) _No, yes….I don’t know._**

Chloe’s phone ring immediately, Stacie’s name flashing across the screen. Chloe swipes the phone to answer it, putting it on speaker phone.

_“What’s going on Chlo?? Are you guys okay??”_

Chloe laughs lightly. _“Chill Stace. I don’t know if it’s like a big deal or whatever. I just wanted to see if you could fit Beca in for an appointment today.”_

_“Of course I can! Mind telling me what’s going on?”_

_“Well I might just be paranoid. Yesterday when I went to pick Beca up from the studio, I called to her when I by the car and she didn’t respond. I literally had to stand three feet in front of her and yell for her to hear me.”_

_“Okay. She wears her headphones like all the time.”_

_“Yeah I know, but she wasn’t wearing headphones. That’s not all. I was making dinner when we got home last night. My little monsters were fighting in the living room. I asked Beca to take care of it and she didn’t respond. She was sitting at the table with her face in her laptop. She was wearing one earbud in her ear. I had to walk up to the table and practically get in her face for her to hear me. So when she went to check on the kids, I put one of the earbuds near my ear and holy crap Stace! She had the volume up so high that it hurt my ear. I don’t know what’s going on. I know that she hadn’t slept in a few days but I just want to make sure.”_

_“Okay Chloe, how about you guys come see me at one? I can fit you guys in between appointments. I’ll take a look into her ears and do a hearing test on her.”_

_“Okay Stace. I really appreciate it.”_

_“No worries hon. I’ll see you guys in a few hours.”_

_“Okay. Bye.”_

_“Bye.”_

Chloe hears the phone disconnect and hang up. She throws her arm over her face, feeling the prickle of tears welling in her eyes. Deep down the redhead knows that she is getting way ahead of herself, but she’s unable to shake the dreadful feeling in her bones. The thought of her wife losing something so vital to her everyday existence is enough to break Chloe. It isn’t long before her body is wracked with sobs.

The sound of the front door opening startles Chloe out of her inner monologue. She immediately gets off of the bed, heading into the bathroom. She hears Beca enter the bedroom shortly after, the rustle of a bag giving her away. Chloe turns her attention to the sink, switching the faucet on. She hears Beca’s soft knock on the bathroom door shortly after.

_“Babe? I’m home.”_

_“Okay honey. I’ll be right out.”_ Chloe increases the volume of her voice to ensure that he wife hears her. When she hears her wife’s footfalls decrease in volume, she turns to the sink. She dips her hands under the faucet, cupping the water between them. She presses the cool water into her face, washing away the remnants of her tears. Switching the faucet off, she looks at her reflection in the mirror. Thankfully she has not cried enough to make her eyes very puffy. She is pretty positive that she can pass the tiny bit of swelling off as a lack of restful sleep. Confident in her white lie, she quickly towels her face dry before leaving the bathroom.

Beca is perched on her side of the bed, spreading cream cheese on a bagel. Navy eyes meet electric blue, a smile spreading across the brunette’s face. She pats Chloe’s side of the bed, motioning for her to sit down. Chloe smiles softly, taking a seat on her side of the bed. Beca leans over slightly, pressing a soft kiss to her wife’s lips.

_“Good morning beautiful.”_

_“Good morning my love.”_

_“I got you that diabetes inducing caramel drink that you love and a blueberry bagel.”_

_“Thanks babe. Did you get yourself a black coffee, like your soul?”_

Beca chuckles. _“You know it.”_

The two munch on their breakfast in companionable silence, enjoying the other’s presence. Chloe finishes her bagel last, chugging the rest of her caramel macchiato to wash down the bread. She turns to the bedside table to set her cup down. Chloe turns back towards her wife, eyes widening as she takes in the current look in Beca’s eyes. Beca’s eyes are nearly black, pupils blown wide with arousal. Chloe doesn’t have time to react before she is pressed into the mattress.

 _“Bec…”_ Chloe’s words are cut off by Beca’s lips. Beca presses her tongue between Chloe’s lips, maneuvering her body on top of her wife’s. Beca traps Chloe’s legs between her thighs. Beca licks inside of Chloe’s mouth, tasting the remnants of her disgustingly sweet coffee. Breaking the kiss, Beca slides her lips down her wife’s jaw, pressing her lips against the soft skin. She drops her lips to the purple hickey that she left last night. She sucks the skin into her mouth, biting down on the mark. Chloe moans, lifting her hips up into the brunette’s. Beca’s grinds her hips down to meet Chloe’s, eliciting another loud moan. Chloe places her hands on Beca’s hips, fingers sliding underneath her tank top. The redhead tugs that the hem of the tank top, causing Beca stop her ministrations and sit up. Beca lifts her arms up to help aide her wife in removing the top. Chloe pulls the tank over Beca’s head, tossing it towards the bathroom. Chloe moans loudly as she takes in the sight of her wife. Beca had forgone a bra in her haste to hurry out of the house this morning. Chloe reaches her hands up, covering her wife’s pert breasts. Beca moans, arching her back to press her chest further into Chloe’s hands. Chloe squeezes the pliant flesh, fingers ghosting over sensitive nipples.

 _“Jesus Chlo.”_ Beca rests her hands on Chloe’s sleep shirt, slowly undoing the buttons. She unclasps the top button, opening the top to expose her wife’s chest. Chloe slides the fabric off of her arms, bunching the shirt underneath her back. Before she can sit up to toss the shirt away, Beca leans down to capture a nipple with her mouth. The brunette scrapes her teeth over the pert nipple, biting down on the puckered flesh. Chloe arches her back off of the bed, pressing her breast harder against her wife’s mouth.

Chloe moans, feeling a fresh wave of arousal flood her pajama bottoms. The redhead lifts her hands back up to her wife’s chest, continuing her ministrations as Beca’s warm tongue continues to caress her nipple. A loud keening mewl leaves the redheads lips as she feels her wife’s fingers slip beneath the waistband of her pajama pants. Beca groans as her fingers slide through her wife’s slick heat.

_“God Chloe, you’re soaked.”_

Chloe’s brain has turned to mush by this point, the only sound falling from her lips being a primal grunt. Beca runs her index finger though her wife’s folds, groaning as Chloe’s fingers pinch and pull slightly at her nipples. Chloe lifts her hips up, trying to press Beca’s finger where she needs her most. Beca smiles wickedly at her wife before removing her hand, Chloe’s disappointed whine making her chuckle. Beca laces her fingers through Chloe’s, moving her wife’s hands above her head. The brunette presses her lips against her wife’s, sliding her body down the redhead’s. Beca presses wet, sloppy kisses against every uncovered piece of skin that she can see. She presses kisses to the redhead’s collarbones, breasts, ribcage, and stomach. She settles into the apex of her wife’s thighs, pressing a feather light kiss against her wife’s clothed center. Chloe moans wantonly, lifting her hips in search of friction.

 _“Patience love.”_ Beca chuckles huskily, pressing another kiss to her wife’s mound.

 _“Beca please….I need you.”_ Chloe whines, hips rising to meet Beca’s naked chest. Beca smirks, sliding her fingers into the waistband of Chloe’s bottoms. She tugs the material roughly down her wife’s legs, sliding them off.

Beca stares unabashedly at her wife’s glistening sex. She wastes no time in shimmy her way back up Chloe’s thighs, nipping at the redhead’s creamy skin. Beca presses a kiss to her wife’s unclothed sex; she immediately dips her tongue between her wife’s legs, sliding the hot muscle through slick folds. Chloe’s hips rise off of the bed, pressing her core harder against her wife’s mouth. Beca groans at the contact, her wife’s sweet juices sparking her taste buds.

 _“Fuck, Becs…..”_ Chloe moans ends in a sharp gasp as Beca flicks her tongue against the redhead’s clit. Beca repeats the motion before sliding her tongue back through her wife’s folds. She stops her movement when she comes to her wife’s entrance. Chloe cries out as Beca thrusts her tongue inside of her wife’s entrance.

Chloe groans, turning her face to the side to press it into her pillow. She bites down on the fabric to muffle a scream.

Beca thrusts her tongue harder into her wife’s inner walls, pressing a thumb against the redhead’s clit. The brunette draws lazy circles against Chloe’s bundle of nerves, thrusting her tongue in time with her thumb.

The delicious torture of Beca’s slow explorations is enough to drive Chloe crazy. Her tongue is pressing deliciously into the redhead, but only just enough to heighten her arousal. The feather light strokes on her overly sensitive clit just enough to keep her on the edge of bliss.

Beca feels nimble fingers slide through her hair, scratching her scalp lightly. Beca moans into Chloe’s core, causing the redhead to buck against her wife’s face. Chloe tightens her fingers in Beca’s hair, pulling on the brunette locks. Beca pulls her mouth away from her wife’s core, earning a groan of disappointment. Beca’s eyes flit up to meet her wife’s. Chloe’s normally bright blue eyes are black with arousal, pupils blown wide. The look on the redhead’s face is predatory, making Beca shiver in delight.

 _“Beca, stop teasing and just fuck me already_.” The demanding tone in the redhead’s tone causing sparks of pleasure to ripple through the brunette’s body.

Beca lowers her head, her greedy mouth finding the redhead’s clit. She sucks the bundle into her mouth, flicking her tongue sharply against it.

 _“Uggg…fuck..babe…”_ Chloe whines brokenly. Her orgasm was hovering above her, just out of reach. Chloe feels two of Beca’s fingers slide though her folds, dipping quickly into her entrance. A moan spills out of her mouth, synapses firing non-stop. She slides her fingers back into Beca’s hair, tugging incessantly. Beca glances back up at her, not stopping her ministrations. The look of determination on Beca’s face is almost enough to send the redhead over the edge.

 _“Fuck…Babe…stop….”_ Beca pulls her mouth away from her wife’s core, expression quickly shifting to a look of worry.

_“Chlo? Are you okay?”_

Chloe takes a deep breath, trying to focus her brain enough to speak. She licks her dry, chapped lips.

 _“Come up here. I need to touch you_.” Chloe rasps out. Beca moves quickly, refusing to make her wife wait for even a second. She removes her fingers from her wife, unbuttoning and pulling off her jeans and underwear at lightning speed. She shimmies her body back up her wife’s, straddling the redhead’s hips. Chloe places her hands on her wife’s hips, rubbing at the soft skin.

_“Turn around so you’re facing the foot of the bed.”_

A sudden jolt of arousal shocks the brunette’s system, a violent shiver coursing its way through her body. Beca swings her leg over her wife’s body, turning her back to the redhead. Chloe’s trails her nails softly down Beca’s back, earning a moan from the brunette. Her wandering hands find purchase against Beca’s slim hips. Chloe grasps the heated flesh, pulling Beca’s body up to straddle her chest.

Beca’s mind is foggy with lust, unable to string together a coherent thought. She is pretty sure she knows what her wife wants to do, the very thought sending her heart pounding against her ribcage.

 _“Get on your knees Becs.”_ The gravelly tone of Chloe’s lust ridden voice making Beca shiver with anticipation, goosebumps rising on her heated skin. Yeah. That is exactly what Beca thought that her wife wanted. She would be lying if she said that she didn’t want it too.

Careful not to accidently kick the redhead, Beca positions her body over her wife’s, knees on either side of Chloe’s head.

Chloe’s head is buzzing with arousal, seeing her wife laid bare above her making her stomach clench painfully.

Beca’s need for release has reached an all-time high; she can feel her arousal slick between her thighs. She licks her dry lips, awaiting her wife’s next move patiently.

Chloe stares unabashedly at her wife’s glistening sex. She bites back a moan as the sweet scent of the brunette’s arousal filters through her nose. Taking a deep breath, Chloe tilts her head up, running her tongue experimentally though her wife’s folds.

The first press of Chloe’s tongue against Beca’s sex causing a guttural moan to fall from the brunette’s lips.

 _“Ggggaahhh..Fuck!”_ Beca brokenly cries, hips thrusting back against her wife’s face. The redhead moans against Beca, tongue teasing the brunette’s entrance.

Beca focuses what little concentration she can muster to the redhead below her. She shifts her body weight slightly, bracing herself on one hand. Her free hand inches its way up her wife’s thigh, stroking flushed skin. She feels Chloe grunt against her core, a moan escaping her as the redhead speeds up her ministrations.

Beca presses her fingers against her wife, digits slipping through soaked folds. Leaning her head down, Beca flicks her tongue out against Chloe’s clit, slipping two fingers inside of her wife.

Chloe moans at the sudden intrusion, slipping her tongue inside of her wife. The shock of the redhead’s tongue causes Beca to slightly bite down on Chloe’s bundle of nerves.

The intimacy of their position causes both women to practically sprint to their respective climaxes. Tongues teasing, fingers prodding, moans vibrating against heated skin make both women crash over the edge moments after beginning their tryst. Chloe’s orgasm rushes over her first, the brunette crashing over seconds later.

The two women continue their ministrations, helping each other ride out their respective climaxes. Beca pulls away first, pressing her face against her wife’s thigh. Chloe pulls away next, panting as her head lolls against her pillow. Beca moves off of her wife with jelly-like legs, settling her body next to the redhead.

Lying together silently, resting in post coital bliss.

Chloe breaks the silence first, hoping that Beca’s relaxed state will allow for a civil conversation. She turns to her side, facing her wife. Beca’s eyes are closed, a light sheen of sweat glistening on her pale skin.

 _“Becs?”_ Chloe questions softly.

 _“Hmmm?”_ Beca answers, eyes still closed as she wills her pounding heartbeat to calm down.

_“I have to ask you something.”_

_“Okayyyy….”_ Beca’s eyes slide open, eyeing her wife questioningly.

 _“Okay. Like promise you won’t get mad.”_ Chloe stutters, nerves blossoming in her stomach.

 _“Chlo…what is it?”_ Beca’s thumb finds purchase in her mouth, teeth biting down on her cuticle.

_“Okay…So yesterday when I was making dinner. I was trying to get your attention because the monsters were acting up…”_

_“I know. I told you that I was spacing out.”_

_“But like that’s not it babe. So like when you got up I grabbed you headphones so I could listen to what you were working on. I couldn’t even put one of the earbuds in my ear because the volume was so loud. And you don’t normally listen to music so loudly and so I’m like totally freaking out because like…”_

_“Chloe! You’re rambling. Spit it out.”_

_“I want you to go see Stacie today. So she can check out your ears.”_

_“Chloe.”_ Beca chuckles. _“Is that it?”_

_“Yeah.”_

Beca leans over, pressing a soft kiss to her wife’s lips. _“Okay babe. If it will make you feel better, I will go.”_

Chloe throws her arms around her wife’s middle, hugging her tightly. _“Thank you baby.”_

_“No problem Red. What time are we supposed to meet her?”_

_“At one.”_

Beca glances at the bedside table, checking the time on the alarm clock.

_“Cool. So nap first. Turn over; I want to be the big spoon.”_

Chloe smiles, turning her back to her wife. Beca throws an arm around Chloe’s middle, curling her body against her wife’s.

 

Beca isn’t an unconfident person. She has confidence that she is good at her job, she is fairly confident that she is a good wife. She knows that she is a good mom, regardless of the fact that having children still scares the living shit out of her. She definitely isn’t the same person that she was when she started college, the redhead invoking many changes in the brunette’s personality. While Beca knows that she will never be as confident as her firecracker of a wife, she still thinks that she is doing pretty well in the confidence department.

Along with being fairly confident, Beca knows that she is incredibly stubborn. Her mother always told her when she was growing up that she was as stubborn as a mule.

Beca never thought that her fiercely stubborn attitude would cause her such heartbreak. Maybe if she paid more attention, she would’ve noticed that she was slowly increasing the volume of the beats pounding through her headphones. Maybe she wouldn’t have written off the sudden bouts of vertigo as sleep deprivation.

Sitting in Stacie’s office is incredibly nerve wracking for the brunette. She assures Chloe that she is fine, that she isn’t nervous. The redhead knows better, the continual bouncing of the brunette’s leg selling her out.

Chloe knows that she shouldn’t push Beca. Trying to get the brunette to talk about what she was feeling would only serve to cause her to close herself off even more.  So Chloe does what she knows best. She puts on a smile and exudes a positive attitude. She smiles softly at her wife, seeking out her hand for comfort. The brunette returns the smile, lacing her fingers with the redhead’s.

When Stacie comes back into her office, both women are off in their own world, gazing lovingly at each other.

The taller brunette clears her throat, lips set in a thin line. She takes a seat across from the two women, heart breaking as she plays out the conversation that is about to happen in her head.

Chloe has always been fairly good at reading people. She knows by Stacie’s body language that she does not have good news for them. Her heart clenches painfully, fake smile plastered on her face.

 _“So Beca, I have a few questions for you before we continue.”_ Stacie begins, opening the manilla folder in her hands.

 _“Okay Stacie, shoot.”_ Beca meets the hazel gaze of her friend.

_“Have you been feeling dizzy at all recently?”_

_“Ummm.” Beca clears the lump in her painfully dry throat. “I have had a few instances I guess. A couple of times in the past three weeks. I just kind of figured, like, it was a lack of sleep. Or maybe because I would forget to eat. No big deal, you know?”_

_“Have you had any ringing in your ears?”_

_“A little. I mean not anything crazy or severe. Just a couple of times.”_

_“Okay. Have you had any history of hearing loss in your family?”_

_“Um. My grandma on my mom’s side lost most of her hearing. They just chalked it up to old age and got her hearing aids.”_

_“Okay. So obviously we all know why we are here.”_ Stacie begins, shuffling around the paperwork in her hands. _“Chloe had some concerns this morning when I called her. Now we are here.”_

_“Okay Stacie, you know that I love you. I really do. But cut the shit. Spit it out.”_

_“Beca!!!”_

_“It’s fine Chloe. Beca. Here is what is going on. I ran a hearing test on you and I have obviously poked and prodded in your ears. We also ran a CT scan on you.”_

Stacie gets to her feet, walking over to her best friend. She kneels down beside her friend, placing a comforting hand on the smaller brunette’s knee that isn’t currently bouncing up and down.

_“So the hearing test results went pretty much exactly how I thought they would. As it stands right now, you have lost almost seventy percent of your hearing in your left ear. Your right ear is running at about seventy percent hearing right now.”_

_“What?”_ Beca questions, eyes widening in disbelief.

_“So when the hearing test came out so severe, I had them run a CT scan on you. The hearing test just tells me that there is deterioration in your hearing, it doesn’t necessarily tell me why. My first thought was noise induced hearing loss, since you deal with music and loud noise for your job. The CT scan ruled that out for me.”_

_“Okay…so what is it?”_

Stacie stands up, walking over to her desk. She grabs a film off of her desk, placing it in a lightbox on the wall. Switching on the light, she points to a dark spot on the film.

_“So this is what is called otosclerosis. Basically it is abnormal bone growth in your middle ear. It affects the stapes. When the stapes is unable to vibrate, sound cannot carry.”_

_“So what can we do?”_ Chloe speaks up, voice strong despite the panic coursing through her veins.

_“So we can surgically remove the otosclerosis that is hindering Beca’s hearing. The problem is that the stapes is likely damaged beyond repair. The ear cannot conduct hearing without the stapes. So we would likely have to create a prosthetic stapes and insert it into Beca’s ear. It will help conduct hearing and prevent further hearing loss.”_

_“Wait what? Hearing loss?”_

_“Yes.”_ Stacie switches off the lightbox, sitting back down at her desk _. “The stapes has already been damaged. Once it is damaged, the hearing is gone. Putting in a prosthetic can help restore some hearing but that is usually in minor cases of hearing loss.”_

_“Minor. So I have severe hearing loss.”_

_“Well it is definitely not minor hearing loss. I wouldn’t quite call it severe but it is bordering on that. How long have you had the ringing in your ears and the bouts of vertigo?”_

_“Just like the last three weeks.”_

_“Okay so this is progressing faster than normal. We have to take an aggressive approach….I say that….”_

Beca gets to her feet suddenly, effectively cutting off her best friend _“I just….there is no way. My hearing was fine last week. So like, your machines are fucked up….or you made a mistake. So I’m just going to go.”_ Beca makes her way to the door. _“Chlo, I’ll be in the car. We have to pick up the kids soon.”_ Beca leaves the office, closing the door tightly behind her.

Chloe sits frozen in her seat, eyes blurry for some unknown reason. After what seems like an eternity she blinks, tears breaking free to rush down her cheeks. Wiping furiously at the offending waterworks, she turns her attention to her friend.

Stacie’s head is downturned, forehead resting on the cool wood of her desk. Her shoulders are shaking slightly.

_“Stace?”_

Stacie lifts her head off of her desk, eyes locking with Chloe’s. The brunette’s eyes are glassy, small trails of tears on her cheeks.

_“Yeah?”_

_“What do we do?”_

_“I don’t know Chlo. We need to let her process this. She is just in shock right now.”_

_“l…what are we going to tell the kids? Her mom….my parents…”_ A sob erupts from the redhead’s chest. _“Fuck.”_

_“Chlo, calm down.”_

_“Don’t tell me to fucking calm down Stacie. You don’t know…”_

Stacie stands up, moving to the other side of her desk. She immediately collects the redhead in her arms, both women sinking to the floor in an embrace.

_“She’s my best friend Chloe. I am going through this with you guys. We will get through it. We just have to talk her into getting surgery soon. The way that her hearing is deteriorating is alarming and if we don’t treat it soon, she will lose everything.”_

_“We can’t push her. She will shut down on us.”_

_“It’s either that or she will be completely deaf.”_

_“Let’s not talk about that please.”_

_“We have to be realistic about this Chloe.”_

_“I know but I just need a minute. I’m going to take her home. I will call you and Bree later.”_

_“Okay.”_ Stacie presses a kiss to the redhead’s forehead before releasing her. Chloe gets to her feet, wiping at her eyes to clear her vision. _“Take care of our DJ Red.”_

_“I will.”_

Chloe makes her way out of the office. Heading down the hallway towards the exit, she stops at the reception desk to pay the office co-pay. Making her way out of the building, she makes her way to the car in a daze. Beca is slumped in the passenger seat, eyes screwed shut. Her hands are balled into fists in her lap. Chloe takes her seat on the driver’s side. She takes a deep breath before turning to her wife.

 _“Becs?”_ Chloe questions.

 _“Hmm?”_ Is Beca’s only response, eyes still tightly closed.

_“Are you okay?”_

_“I’m fine.”_

_“About what Stacie tol…”_

_“I don’t want to talk about it Chloe.”_

_“But we have to ma…”_

_“Chloe!”_ Beca’s eyes pop open, filled with unadulterated rage. _“I said that I don’t want to fucking talk about it!”_

Chloe sucks in a deep breath, willing her eyes to not fill up with tears again. She reminds herself that Beca is struggling with the news, pushing her to talk will only strengthen her reluctance. The impending talk can be saved for another time. When she is confident that she is in control of her emotions, she slips the car key into the ignition.

 

As soon as the Mitchell clan arrives home, Beca storms off into the bedroom. Chloe hears the telltale sign of the door locking behind the brunette. Chloe looks down when she feels a tug on her jeans. Sam is standing next to her, looking up questioningly. Lizzy already settled in the living room with her favorite Barbie.

 _“Mama okay Mommy?”_ Sam asks bright blue eyes wide. Chloe feels her eyes fill with a fresh wave of tears. Bending over, she lifts her son into her arms. The boy giggles, wiggling in his mother’s arms. Chloe presses kisses on his cheeks before setting him back down.

_“Mama is fine buddy. Go play with your sister okay? We are having pizza for dinner.”_

_“PIZZA!!!!”_ The twins scream simultaneously, causing the redhead to giggle. Sam takes off running into the living room, screeching to a stop in front of his sister.

Chloe makes her way into the kitchen, pulling her cell phone out of her pocket. She takes a seat at the dining room table, opening the text message that Aubrey sent her while she was driving.

**-Bree-Bree: (2:30 p.m.) _Chloe, are you okay? Stacie told me about Beca’s appointment._**

**-Chlo-Bug: (2:30 p.m.) _I don’t know Bree. I’m kind of in shock right now. Beca locked herself in the bedroom. She won’t talk to me.”_**

**-Bree-Bree: (2:31 p.m.) _Give her time Chlo. She’ll come around. She just needs to process._ **

**-Chlo-Bug: (2:31 p.m.) _I know Bree._**

**-Bree-Bree: (2:32 p.m.) _I have to go pick up Spencer. Call me if you need me._**

**-Chlo-Bug: (2:32 p.m.) _Okay. Love ya toots._**

Chloe drops her phone on the table, resting her chin in her hands. She reflects on the day so far. Awesome morning sex with her hot wife. Now there is a high possibility that her wife will be completely deaf before too long. It is almost like a cruel joke. The reunion after not seeing her wife for three weeks now tainted by the worst news that she has received since her Memaw died. She feels the tears welling up in her eyes for what seems like the hundredth time today. She no longer has the energy to fight them, allowing the salty drops to fall freely down her face.

 

Beca knew that she was being a dick. She knew that she was shutting her wife out. She couldn’t help it. She couldn’t, allow Chloe to see her in such a weak state.

That is why Beca finds herself locked not only in the bedroom, but the bathroom as well. She is currently cowering in her walk in shower. Hot face pressed against the cool tiles as tears drip freely down her cheeks. She snorts a massive amount of snot into her throat, choking slightly as she clears her throat.

The immense, soul crushing sadness that Beca is feeling is overwhelming.

Most people told Beca that she was cold hearted. That she didn’t care. She didn’t have any feelings.

Truth be told, she did care. She had more feelings than most of the people that she knew.

She just tried not to show these things. She didn’t like to show her emotions.

She didn’t like to allow these feelings to take hold of her because she didn’t know how to handle them.

When she allowed herself to feel, she felt too much. Her emotions were always that way. She felt so intensely that she usually couldn’t deal.

It was just easier to pretend that she was emotionless. That she was cold hearted, a bitch.

She lived her life like that for a long time.

Until she met Chloe Beale.

Chloe Beale’s happy disposition was addicting. She barged into Beca’s life without permission and completely took the brunette for a loop. She took each brick in Beca’s sky high wall and built a house with them.

Chloe Beale was Beca’s life force. She was Beca’s main reason for breathing. Chloe and her kids were the most important things in her life. Music taking up residence closely behind.

The idea of losing the one thing that Beca needed to do her job was terrifying. She very well couldn’t produce music if she couldn’t fucking hear it.

Living in a world without sound was not a life that Beca wanted to live.

She just wanted to scream.

So she did.

Beca covered her mouth with her hand, letting out a howl of pain. A scream of frustration. A wail of defeat.

Beca was losing one of her main reasons to breathe.

It’s seems ironic to her. That she would lose her hearing. Almost like a big “FUCK YOU” from God. It was like her life was one big cosmic joke.

Beca Mitchell is a happy child?

Better make her dad leave.

Hello abandonment issues.

Beca Mitchell is a somewhat broody young adult.

Better have bullies pick on her. Take her self-confidence down a couple of notches.

Hello prickly attitude.

Beca Mitchell meets the love of her life in her freshman year of college. Marries said person and has a family. Is extremely successful in her job and is extremely happy?

That wasn’t in the agenda. Better take something that will devastate her and her happy family.

She makes music for a living.

She can’t make music if she can’t hear.

Better take her hearing away.

Hello having nothing to live for.

_“Fuck my life.”_

 

**-TBC-**

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N- Okay lovelies. Here is Chapter 1 of ICHAWYS. I know that Beca seems broody and kind of selfish at the end. She is internally processing. She is suffering. She loves her family; I don’t want you guys to think that she doesn’t. This is just the way that her mind is dealing with this loss right now.  
> I hope that you all enjoyed this. Thanks for reading Awesome Nerds!!! Feel free to drop me a line on here or on Tumblr.


	3. Author's Note

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Not an update :(

To my awesome Nerds:

I have not given up on this fic, do not despair. With the happenings of losing our beloved Heda Lexa, I am not in able mind to write angst right now. SO until I feel like I can give this fic the proper attention that it deserves, I will be placing this on hiatus so that I may focus on the fluffier side of life. As soon as I feel able, I will get back to this. If you would like to continue to read works by me, I am focusing on fluffy Clexa stuff right now....

 

Thank you for being understanding:

JeffrinaMichelle

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Okay y’all. I’ve been playing with this idea for a little while now. I am a master of procrastination right now. After all of the horrible losses that we have endured this week, I decided to try my hands on this little ditty. So it’s up to you guys if you want me to continue on. I have to warn you that this will not be a happy story. This is going to be a really angsty ride. There will be fluff, but it will be pretty sad….So…hit me up on here or on my tumblr https://www.tumblr.com/blog/jeffrinamichelle and let me know if want me to make this a multi-chapter. I hope that you all enjoyed this one. Thank you Awesome Nerds!!!


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